“SARCASM: Because beating the crap out of people is illegal”

“A Person who Aims at Nothing is sure to hit it.”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupid”

“My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you, It means your level of stupidity rendered me speechless”

“If you are one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.”

“Happily ever after is so once upon a time”

“I don’t have time to hate anyone. I either like you or just don’t care”

“If you don’t want a sarcastic answer. Then don’t ask a stupid question”

“If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.”

“Fact: Listening to sarcastic people daily will make you more creative”

“I almost showed up to work today with a positive attitude, but sarcasm stepped in and saved the day”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot, I only exist when you need something”

“Being able to respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain”

“Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes”

“You know that little voice inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t? Yeah, I don’t have one of those”

“Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up everyday to impress you”

“All you need is LOL”

“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding”

“I am sorry, I didn’t realize that you are an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes”

“Warning to avoid Injury: Don’t tell me how to do my Job”

“I love sarcasm. Its like punching people in face, but with words”

“I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you”

“Some people are such treasures that you just want to bury them”

“I love listening to lies when i know the truth”

“I can explain it to you but i cant understand it for you”